Arthur Brooks on the Real Secret to a Happier, More Meaningful Life

What’s the secret to a happier, more purposeful life? For Arthur Brooks — bestselling author, Harvard professor, and columnist for The Atlantic — real happiness isn’t something you chase; it’s something you build, moment by moment, through intention, connection, and reflection.

In this inspiring conversation, Brooks explores the science and spirituality behind happiness, purpose, and meaning. Drawing on decades of research and personal wisdom, he shares how to cultivate a meaningful life — not through grand gestures, but small, everyday practices that deepen relationships, build resilience, and bring lasting fulfillment.

How can people cultivate a sense of purpose and meaning in their daily lives?

The happiest people on Earth have three “macronutrients” in balance and abundance: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. The first two are easy enough to understand, but the latter — meaning — is a difficult business. Trying to answer this huge, amorphous question — what is the meaning of my life? — is not an advisable place to start your journey toward meaning, because it’s too big of a problem to tackle. Leading psychologists have helped break down what meaning means. Like happiness itself, meaning is composed of three parts: coherence (how events in your life fit together); purpose (having goals and direction); and significance (a sense of the inherent value of your existence).

To begin cultivating a sense of meaning, I recommend interrogating yourself on which part of meaning you’re most deficient. Then, when you’ve located your core problem, go seek answers in a spirit of adventure. For example, if you have a coherence problem, traditional religion or philosophy will give you answers about why things happen in your life. Is it God’s divine will? Is it the beautiful, interconnected nature of the universe? Perhaps God has baked randomness into the fabric of the universe (this is what my late mathematician father believed, which brought him a lot of peace). To start, I recommend reading the foundational texts from the faith of your youth very seriously, perhaps, for the first time in your life.

What’s the importance of personal happiness in a meaningful life?

Some people today critique personal happiness, arguing that it’s a selfish pursuit that comes at the expense of our loved ones or even society. But the research tells a different story: Happier people tend to be more generous with their time and money, humbler about their views, more curious about other people and the world, healthier as they age, and even more successful in their professional lives. Put differently: Happier people do better across nearly every domain of their lives while also making the world a better place. In my view, it’s a moral imperative to get happier — because the world needs it.

How important are community and social connections in fostering happiness?

The best research suggests that loving relationships are the key factor in fostering happiness. This evidence comes from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, an 80-year ongoing study that has examined thousands of people across diverse backgrounds and heritages. Remarkably, they’ve found the best predictor of happiness (and health!) in old age is thriving, loving relationships in mid-life. This is a crucial lesson – it implies that as we reach our 40s and 50s, we should be paying specific attention to our life partners, friends, and community. Most of the time, as our careers begin to thrive around mid-life, we tend to do the opposite — we focus on the prestige of our job and the accumulation of rewards at the expense of our loving relationships. For your happiness and health, you should put loving relationships first.

What are some common misconceptions about happiness that you encounter in your research?

Two big misconceptions exist: 1. Happiness is a feeling, and 2. Happiness is a destination. Both are incorrect, and if we labor under the impression that they’re true, we’re bound for misery.

First, happiness is not a feeling. Feelings are evidence of happiness, in the same way that the smell of your Thanksgiving dinner is evidence that the turkey exists. From an evolutionary perspective, there’s no such thing as “good” or “bad” emotions — only positive and negative ones. Positive emotions help us approach opportunities (such as a loved one or learning a new skill), whereas negative emotions help us avoid threats. Neither positive nor negative emotions are avoidable, so when we spend our lives attempting to avoid negative emotions — to be happier — we’ll be sorely disappointed time and again. The trick is not to turn off one’s negative emotions, but instead manage them (and even, in some cases, be grateful for them because they help keep us alive).

Second, happiness is a direction, not a destination. Let me be frank: On this side of heaven, we will never reach some blissful state of pure happiness. Obviously, we know this to some degree, but individuals who pursue happiness as a destination tend to become discouraged when suffering befalls them. The goal should be directional, cultivating the right habits to chart us toward a better life. In the end, we should not try to become “happy;” we should strive to become “happier.”

How can we navigate challenges and setbacks while maintaining a positive outlook on life?

Philosophers and theologians have contemplated this question for ages. In my upcoming book on meaning, in fact, I devote a whole chapter to this question — why our suffering is sacred. Make no mistake: Suffering will find you in life, no matter how sterling your habits are. As far as happiness is concerned, the idea is to accept and manage your suffering rather than trying desperately to escape it.

For instance, consider how Buddhists view the issue. The first Noble Truth of Buddhism suggests that suffering is unavoidable. But Buddhists do not define suffering as simply feeling pain. Instead, they define suffering as: pain x resistance. Of course, this implies that if we attempt to resist our challenges and setbacks, then our suffering will multiply. When we encounter any type of pain in life, the first step is to treat the pain with a courageous act of nonresistance — which in turn helps us to treat the pain more effectively. This helps you learn from your mistakes, see life more clearly, and chart a new (and more hopeful) way forward.