Let’s Talk About Sexual Wellness: A Q&A with Margot Lee

Sexual wellness is essential to whole-person health. In this special Q&A, Canyon Ranch’s Dr. Jen Wagner sits down with our newest expert Margot Lee, a PhD candidate in clinical sexology, to discuss pleasure, intimacy, erotic intelligence, and creating a more open, shame-free dialogue around sexual health. Plus, explore what to expect from a one-on-one consultation with Margot, now available at Canyon Ranch Lenox. 

What inspired you to go into this field of sexology?  

I really find that sexual health, especially women's sexual health, is underutilized and that women don't know where to go when they have questions. Even our medical doctors oftentimes do not bring it up, and then it falls upon the patient or the guests to have to come forward. Having a clinical expert that's there just to help people explore their sexuality makes it a much more open topic, and people can gain a lot from that.  

What has surprised you the most over your career with the last 25 years working in this field with people and with your patients? 

I think it's really surprising how difficult it is sometimes to talk about something that is so natural and that we're all doing. It can become such a shameful topic. I think that's really unfortunate.  

Why is sexual wellness such an important part of our overall health?  

It's been found in studies that having a good erotic sense of self and a good sense of intimacy can really impact everything — from our physical health, like blood pressure and cardiac care, to even decreases in depression or anxiety. It helps with our mental health, our physical health, and our sense of personal well-being when we feel like we really can get in touch with ourselves.  

How do you integrate the idea and the topic of pleasure into a wellness conversation?  

Talking about pleasure can be about any of the eight forms of intimacy. When we're talking about intimacy, people oftentimes focus on sexual intimacy. But there's aesthetic intimacy. There's intellectual intimacy. Feeling comfortable talking about the things that are of value to yourself and that are meaningful to your life is all incorporated into a sense of a holistic, intimate self. Being comfortable with others to be able to explore that can really enhance our overall well-being, both sexually and just our intimate well-being. 

If you had your wish that people could get comfortable asking one question in this area, what would that question be?  

I think it would be different for everybody. I think it's really important that people ask the question they're scared to ask.  

How would someone that is single or maybe doesn't have a partner approach this conversation compared to a couple or people that have an established partner? 

I think of sexuality as a very personalized experience because we don't always enjoy the same things as our partner. We don't always want it at the same time or the way they want it. So even if somebody comes in with their partner and I'm seeing a couple, I individualize the experience. It's important for each individual to know what's meaningful to them and what they want to take away from that experience, and it may not be the same as their partner. So you'll get the same experience whether you come alone or with your partner. 

What's one thing people are often surprised to learn about sexual wellness? 

Sexuality is more about yourself than about your relationship with others.  

What's one simple habit every woman can incorporate to support her sexual wellness?  

Daily check-ins — doing some kind of mindful check-in every day on your body and your health.  

What's one myth about sexual wellness you would love to debunk?  

Sex is for the young. 

What's one piece of advice you find yourself giving clients over and over?  

If you can't talk about it, then you shouldn't be doing it.  

The term erotic intelligence, what does that mean? 

Erotic intelligence is an offshoot of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is being in touch enough with your emotions to connect with another human being. Erotic intelligence adds to that by including the body and how we're feeling in ourselves. 

When a guest comes to Canyon Ranch, what can they expect sitting down for a consult in this space? 

I think that they should expect to be heard. They should expect to be in an environment where anything they want to know is an open topic that they can bring up. They should expect that they're going to be respected and that there's no shame in not knowing or asking the question.  

What would you hope a guest takes away from one of these consults?  

I hope that every guest leaves meeting with me feeling more excited about themselves, their bodies, and their opportunities to explore both their intimate self as well as their erotic self.  

Interested in a one-on-one session with Margot? Explore Canyon Ranch Lenox’s newest service with Margot — Desire, Vitality, and Erotic Well-Being — and dive deeper into the connection between emotional wellness, desire, intimacy, and personal vitality in a supportive space.